The work of a neophyte..part 1

Written on 28.10.2006

Hello soubrette!

No, its evident
the mask is worn
the make-up, unsullied
the back stage meticulously white washed..

And the actors play -
their parts..
But definitely not,
to perfection!

No, its evident
no one enjoys the show
but then they all say,
"It was incredible! encore!"

But the clock ticks away
the mask gets torn
the make up cracks- reveals wrinkles..and wounds,..
And the white wash dissipates..

Yes, its evident!
Still, they act.

The Signal

I grew weary -staring
at the ceiling
Yet I could'nt tear-
myself away.

Numbers jumbled
Evil faces mumbled
The alphabets seemed to mock
or rather- point and laugh.

I tried to close my eyes
Only to get images-more vivid
I pulled myself together
and the pressed my sticky palm against my cheek

Futile, useless creature-
The world seemed to say
Unblinking- I cried.. until
my tears lost their warmth

Unbridled, Unexpected and Untitled.

Sitting on the beach
fists clenching a handful of sand..
Contemplating..
What has life given me?

I noticed a toddler, standing far away
observing the waves
nervously shifting his weight..
Expecting a huge wave to maybe, drown him..

Ha! I thought..
You poor little thing..
no wave ever reaches there!
fair bet that your feet wont even be moist..

Reading my thoughts?
I gawked at a huge wave
drenching people on its way..
Oh no! Can it? Will it?

It toned down and snaked its way
slowly.. silently.. inviting.. welcoming..
touched the little boy's feet
Like holding both of his hands- and inviting him to play..

He jumped with delight,
he had won! he had conquered!
laden with confidence, he took a step further
and a step further...

I saw him jumping in water- waist deep!
his mother grabbed him like a weed and pulled him out!
and he wailed to be sown back
Eh! I chuckled.. Be careful, little one!
Theres enough life ahead to drown you in it!

Invisibly Visible..

The cold mist gathered about me..
barely any visibility
I staggered in the dark..Scared out of wits..
trying to reach the indefinite..

Clashing with something hard
I fell down.. felt my hip crack
The pain blinded me..
splitting every nerve..

Mustering all my strength..
I rose..but fell, again..
I crawled a few feet.. A little more..
I could see a fire.. in the distance..

When I came back, the next morning..
the sun sleepy and clouds, pearly..
To look at what had hurt me..
There was nothing.. Just nothing..

It had seemed so solid.. So definite..
But now, not even a trace..
What had stopped me? I gave up searching and turned back..
But just as I was shrugging it off.. I knew! I just knew!

Only I knew

As I stood in the terrace
my back drenched with sweat
and eyes squinting to see the sun..
the hot wind swept about me..

I could see the cloud patterns
patterns that belonged to me..
thoughts that I shared with myself..
my own.. MY OWN..

A volcano erupting..
A lonely bridesmaid.. A hungry dog..
Enigmatic, this
as indefinite as a dream..

Suddenly, the clouds darkened
the wind blew light and soft..
A few thick drops of rain
hit my forehead.. shrapnel intensity..It softened then..

The intoxicating smell of wet mud
relaxed my nerves
my mouth twisted into an odd smile..
Its meaning only I knew..
Oh! yes.. Only I knew! :)

The Walk

The little waves kissed my feet
and went back into the vastness of the ocean
just like the little incidents
little, but leave a mark..
Only the moisture remained..
As I walked along the shore..

Occasionally, a huge wave ventured, long enough
to drench me up to my knees and I staggered
Just like some great, unforgettable things
That leave me shaken up..
Only the sand remained stuck to my legs..
As I walked along the shore..

A few pieces of broken shell.. scattered
pricked my feet, making me jump
just like the hindrances
that made my life a challenge..
Only the pain remained..
As I walked along the shore..

My feet sunk into the wet sand
with each step..
As I pulled them out.. only to place them again..proceeding further..
As I looked back..
Only my foot prints remained..
As I walked along the shore..